Robert’s Story
“Delight thyself also in the LORD;
and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him;
and he shall bring it to pass . . . . Rest in the LORD,
and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:4-7).
Years ago, the Lord impressed me with the idea that it would be defrauding for any guy to single out a girl for special attention without first gaining the blessing of her parents to pursue her heart. That was easy enough … until I met Kendalyn! We worked together at the IBLP Headquarters for a little over a year and my admiration for her humility and virtue grew greater and greater. But the Lord had led a me to make a commitment to serve Him with a single focus for a certain number of years. So any thoughts or actions of love toward Kendalyn would just have to wait. This little secret between God and I really deepened my closeness with Him. I often found myself quoting Psalm 73:25: “Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.”
I still remember standing up in a church one Sunday to sing a hymn, and it was the words of I Timothy 1:12 set to music: “I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.” There was such a freedom in completely committing my future to the Lord! If I simply trusted and obeyed His leading, He was going to work out every situation, whether easy or hard, for my good.
Eventually my commitment to single service was up and I suddenly realized that I was at a critical point of decision. Should I actually try making “the call” to Kendalyn’s Dad to discuss courtship? This was no small thing! I really wanted a clear word from the Lord! So I asked Him for it. Then I looked down at my Bible reading for the day. It just so happened to be “the wedding Psalm”! Psalm 45:13 jumped off the page to me: “The king’s daughter is all glorious within.” The inward virtue radiating from Kendalyn’s life was precisely what had attracted me so much to her! When I excitedly shared this rhema verse with my Dad, he smiled and said, “That is exactly the same passage of Scripture that the Lord gave to me before I married your Mom!”
Little did I realize that it would be another whole year and a half before all the lights would turn green and God would allow my authorities to give their full blessing on me making “the call” to Kendalyn’s Dad. It was during this time of patiently waiting, however, that over and over again God emphasized to me the importance of learning to fear Him: “He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him” (Psalm 145:19). As God’s desires became my desires by surrendering my will and delighting in His, fulfilling my desires would become God’s responsibility: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psalm 37:4).
Early in the morning on my 26th birthday, the Lord gave me another special passage about fearing Him: “Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed” (Psalm 112:1-2). This became my theme verse for the year! I believe that learning to fear the Lord means learning to have a continual awareness that I am in the presence of a holy, just, and almighty God, and that every motive, thought, word, and action is open before Him and will be judged by Him. One day it suddenly hit me that this same quality is one of the main things that attracted me so much to Kendalyn. She had a deep-rooted, wholesome fear of the Lord: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
When the waiting grew difficult, I would often take a prayer walk with the Lord so that we could have a good chat. During these times, familiar passages would come alive with new meaning. I still remember taking a walk at sunset while I was in Big Sandy, Texas and reading Isaiah 40:30-31: “They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:30-31). My confidence in God’s trustworthiness kept growing: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
I was honestly very nervous when I finally talked to Kendalyn’s Dad in July of 2010. But the many clear rhemas that the Lord had given over the past few years were a source of complete confidence and hope: “I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope” (Psalm 130:5). Five months later, Mr. Kowalchuk gave his full blessing to begin pursuing Kendalyn’s heart.
